To God be the Glory :D

Father, I thank You for You are a great, big, wonderful God, and Your blessings and guidance are so overwhelmingly amazing.

I am officially done with Year 4 of medical school! This whole exam period was an experience for me, a time of growth. There were times when I felt so sure this was the year God would say "Alright, it's time for you to fail your exams so you'll change. It'll make you snap out of things and you'll start working harder. You'll come out of it better. This is for your own good". Although I prayed to pass, I was mentally preparing myself to either have to take the supplementary exams or to repeat the year.

I prayed for God to help me do well in the exams, but it wasn't easy for me to trust that God would do so. I remembered everything God has pulled me through, all the times He has helped me through everything. He lead me to passages and scriptures that spoke right to my heart at all the right times. Still, a part of me thought "This is it. This year is the year. Prepare for change".

But God is good. He gave me peace when I most needed it. He granted me favour and He was with me every step of the way. One of the days, after a part of the exams that I felt I did so badly, I was telling God that I wanted to pass, but if He wanted me to retake the exams or repeat the year then would He please grant me the obedience to accept it. Retrospectively, I think that was my way of shrugging off the disappointment and discouragement, and my excuse to just give up on the exams.

But God is kind. On that day, He sent so many different people, who, out of nowhere, offered me encouragement and showed me acts of love. I was reminded that God is always in control and that God loves me and is always looking out for me. He gave me Words of encouragement, and He stilled my frayed nerves and granted me peace of mind. He gave me reminders that He was with me. He had my back. There was nothing to fear.

The results were announced one day later than expected, and I wasn't in KT anymore when it happened. A friend had to message me my results and the moment my plane landed and stopped and we were allowed to turn on our phones, I waited for the message to appear with shaking hands. Finally the message that said "You passed!!!" came through.

God is so, so awesome. As Ephesians 3:20-21 says, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Not only did he help me so that I didn't have to repeat the year or take the supplementary exams, not only did He spare me from having to take the borderline viva I prayed so hard I wouldn't be called for, but He gave me so much more than I asked for or even dared imagined possible. While I was worried about failing the exams, God was blessing me with more than I had asked for.

I was talking to mummy and daddy, and I told them how I knew God was with me throughout the exams, but the thing I really couldn't understand was why God let me do so badly on that one day, that one day that almost broke me and really made me think that God wanted me to fail this exams to bring Him the most glory by doing even better in the supplementary exams or by retaking Year 4.

Daddy said maybe God did that so that there would be no doubt that my results came from God. I think this may be it. If the results were really based on my performance, I know the results would have been different. Instead, because I have the favour of the Creator of the universe, the Maker of everything, the King of all kings and God of all gods, the outcome was not what I expected or deserved. It was better. When God is in control, which He always is, good things happen. People are blessed,

People may say that this isn't fair to the other students, because I have an unfair advantage of having God on my side. That's not true. It can't be unfair because this same advantage, this same leading and guiding hand, is offered to anyone who would accept it. My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. I have a direct line to Him because I have a relationship with Him, but this is not an unfair advantage because God cannot be unfair. It just isn't in Him to be unfair. This gift is offered to everyone willing to accept it.

Accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and my Saviour was the single best decision I have ever made in my entire life. I still have ups and downs, I still have struggles, I still face disappointment sometimes, but I can always know that God is in control. With Him in charge, I never have to have any fears.

To God be the glory, for He alone deserves it! :)))

P.S.: To all those who kept me in prayers throughout my exam period, thank you all so much! You guys rock! I appreciate this so much more than you know!

Happy Daddy's Day!

I've heard it said that fathers are their daughters' first loves. I don't know about the other girls, but this is definitely true for me.


Dear Daddy,

Happy Father's Day!

You are my favourite, and my number 1, superhero! Whenever there is anything wrong in my life, I am never too worried because I know you'll always have my back, and that you will always be there to help me fix whatever things is broken my life. From shoes to electronic toys to electrical things to my life and the rough patches in it, you have always been there to pick me up and teach me to try and make the most out of every situation. You have taught me that there is nothing a little superglue and prayers can't fix, and I love you all the more for that.

Thank you for being the leader of the family in every way. You have gone above and beyond the duties of a father for our family, and without a shadow of a doubt we know that you would do anything for us. Your love for us is evident in everything you do for us.

Thank you, daddy, for always putting our family as your top priority. You never put your work or anything else above us, and I remember how you always made the time to fetch us from school or to tuition even though it would be in the middle of the workday. You always made sure you spent as much time as you could with us even when you were busy with work. We were always secure in your love, and we have never doubted that you were always there for us.

You were the one who took the difficult role of the disciplinarian when koko, niko and I were growing up. Thank you for that. I know it must have been difficult for you to discipline us whenever we did something wrong (which was pretty often hehe), but you still did it out of love for us, and because of that, we have grown up to be the men and woman we are today. You have taught us the difference between right and wrong, you have taught us to say what we mean and mean what we say, and you have taught us that discipline is important but should always be done in love, which you've always done. When I read Proverbs 3:11-12, I think of you. The things you have taught us to believe and to do are things I will forever keep in my heart, and I hope that one day, when I have my own children, I will be able to make sure they are brought up with the same principles you have instilled in us.

You are the one person whose words I always trust. If you were to tell me something is safe, I would bet my life that it was. If I have any questions or confusion about anything, especially anything to do with the Scripture, you are my favourite person to turn to, because your passion for the Word of God is so fun to witness, and because you will always explain things such that I would understand, but also encourage me to do my own research and push me closer to God.

If or when God leads me to a guy, he would have very very high standards to uphold because I subconsciously compare them all to you!

There are not enough words to thank you and to tell you how much I love you, so I'll just say thanks for everything! I love you so much!

P.S.: Thanks for being the best partner-in-crime for so many things ;)))

Birthday Baptism, Baptism Birthday! :D

Yesterday, on my 23rd birthday, I finally got baptised!

I grew up in a Christian home. Daddy and mummy brought us to church every week, they taught us to read our Bibles and to pray, they taught us to thank the Lord for everything, and they always reminded us that we were loved, by God as well as by them.

While my friends spoke about how afraid they were of ghosts and monsters and how they would lie awake in fear of what was lurking in the shadows, I have always slept like a log, because daddy and mummy had taught me to pray and trust that God will take care of me, that He was always with me, watching over me, protecting me. I knew that in a fight between God and the devil, God always won, so whenever I was afraid, I just prayed and I would feel better.

I grew up attending Sunday School. I knew the words and the actions to every song we sang there, I memorised the Bible verses the teachers told us to, I've sat through the story of Noah's Ark a million times. As soon as I was old enough, I started to serve in church, as a pianist in The Boys' Brigade, in Sunday School, in Youth Fellowship, and eventually in the church main services.

You see, God has always been around me. He has always been a part of my life.

As I grew older, though, I realised that God does not have grandchildren. Just because my parents were Christians, just because my brothers were Christians, just because I knew more old hymns than probably 90% of the people my age, that did not make me a Christian. God was sort of always just around me, He had always been a part of my life, but only because daddy and mummy had invited Him to be so. I realised that I wanted to invite Jesus into my own life. I didn't want to be hanging on to somebody else's faith, but the gift of God's grace was offered to ME, and I wanted it for myself! It was time for God to not just be around me, but to live in me! I accepted the gift that was freely given to me, and I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Saviour. I became a Christian for myself.

At 13 years old, I started attending Youth Fellowship (YF) in church, and I attended many youth gatherings and camps and exciting events like that. One thing I always loved listening to were other Christians' testimonies, the stories of how they came to Christ. I always thought that testimonies were stories that could cut through many people's hearts because of how personal each story was. As I heard stories of drug addicts and criminals and bad people being touched and changed by the Lord, and how their lives were so drastically changed that the people around them were pointed to God, I wished that I had a more interesting story to tell. I never really shared my testimony, the story of how I came to accept Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour, because I didn't think there was anything to tell. My life, my story, I thought, was pretty boring.

As I continued to grow, as I continued to go through the different seasons of life, God has always been with me. I slowly learned that God placed me in a Christian home with the most amazing family in the world, for a reason. Even before I was conceived, He knew me. He made me who I was, and He placed me where was best for me. I may not have had a rough childhood, a violent past, and a 180 degree change when I accepted Christ, but I learned that my story is no less significant than these other Christians' stories.

While people with such a past can tell others of how God completely turned their lives around, how God rescued them from horrible things and even near-deaths, I can tell others about how God has always been with me to lead me away from being involved in horrible things that could ruin me, how He has always protected me from harm, and how He has always, always been there for me through everything. I get to tell others of God's faithfulness and how He has patiently waited for me to come to Him on my own and to invite Him into my heart for myself.

I get to tell others how God has been with me and has provided for me in the different seasons of my life. When I left home to study in KL, in a new place full of people I didn't know, God was gracious in leading me to a family in the form of the campus Christian Fellowship. When I came to KT, God brought me to KTBC, in which I have found a family. He has placed so many wonderful people in my life, all of whom I am so blessed to have known.

Have I ever felt lost? Have I ever felt alone? Yes, you bet I have, but God has always, always been there for me, even when I didn't want to acknowledge it. He has blessed me so much, way more than I can ever thank Him for and way, way, way more than I deserve, but He continues to bless me because of His love, and simply because I accepted the gift that has been given to me, the gift that is offered to anyone who would believe, when Jesus died on the cross for our sins.

So, yesterday, on my 23rd birthday, I finally got baptised!

Yeahhhhhhh! \o/

I thank God for the opportunity to take this step of obedience, and to tell the world that I am His child. This faith is not just my parents' faith, not just my brothers' faith, but it's mine too, and yesterday I made it official to the world :) Never have I been so happy to be dunked into a pool of water!

The whole family was supposed to be here for my birthday and baptism, but at the last minute niko found out that he had an exam on the same morning, and he couldn't take the paper any other time. He told mummy he wanted to come after his exam, but that wasn't quite possible because by the time he arrived we would already be in the middle of Tasik Kenyir, so only daddy, mummy and koko came up. Yesterday morning, we met up with the rest of the group, 19 of them, in front of church (which I just realised I actually get to call "my" church since I was baptised there! :D), and we drove to Pengkalan Gawi, where we took a houseboat and headed to the waterfall area where I was to be baptised. There was a time of worship in songs, a devotion led by daddy, and I shared a short testimony before I was baptised! After that, we all just relaxed and enjoyed the nature and God's creation, as well as each other's company. Later on, after leaving the waterfall area, we went to see a Taman Herba that was also somewhere in Tasik Kenyir, before heading back.

The entire outing was amazing, and God protected us all such that there wasn't so much as a scratch on any of us! The outing was organised as a church outing, and everybody brought food and we all had a great time of food and fellowship, thanks to how amazingly hospitable the KTBC people are! I tell you, these people are the reason I can maintain my size here, they keep me alive with their food and keep me sane with their love and care! I have been so greatly blessed by this amazing family in Christ I have here!

On the boat ride back, daddy suggested we make a trip to KB to see niko after I found out that my morning class today was confirmed to be pushed to the afternoon! Since I'm such hip young person, I'm gonna have to use a hip-young-people word and say that we had a YOLO moment XD

We didn't have signal on our phones, so we just started driving towards KB after saying thanks and bye to the rest of the convoy. After some time, we finally managed to call niko and he sounded so groggy when he answered the phone because our phone call woke him up from a nap. The phone was on loudspeaker and we all were just shouting "Are you free tonight? We pick you up for dinner?" and suddenly niko voice brightened and he went "You all coming ah?" and he was suddenly wide awake and sounded as excited as we all were that we were going to be able to meet up, the whole family! ❤ We ended up having dinner and coffee in KB before daddy drove the rest of us back to KT that same night!

If I haven't mentioned it before (I have), daddy is my superhero! He must have been crazy tired from all the long-distance driving, and yet he just took little little naps to be able to drive us all over, so that we could all be together on my birthday and baptism day!

On a scale of 1 to 10, yesterday was a 15! It was just amazing to finally be baptised, and I got to spend the day with my family! Not only that, but I was reminded of how truly blessed I am to have so many amazing people in my life. In every stage of my life, God has brought to me wonderful people who I have the honour of calling my friends, my family, and my brothers and sisters in Christ.

How did everything in the picture (including the people hehehe) come to be if they were not created by my God?
And to think that the God who created all things knows me and loves me!

WORLD, I AM A CHILD OF GOD! :D

And to all of you who have been in any way a part of my life, thank you! I love you all for being God's blessings to me!

Dear Mummy...

Dear Mummy,

It's one day early, but nemermai. Terengganu's Saturdays are more or less equivalent to other places' Sundays right? So... Happy Mother's Day!

Thank you for...... EVERYTHING! Thank you for being the best mother in the world, and koko, niko and I are so so so blessed to be able to call you mummy! Thanks for all the love you've always poured out upon us so willingly, and thank you for always always always being there for us!

I don't tell you this enough, but you really are my superhero. Every time I have any problem, you are the first person I want to talk to because I know that even if you cannot provide me with an immediate solution, you would be there to offer me a listening ear and a whole lot of love. Thanks for being my best friend, for being the one who knows me best, and for being the one I know I can always turn to.

I don't know how it is that you know everything. You can cook, you can bake, you can mend clothes (we seem to be able to make holes everywhere in our clothes), you know exactly how long each type food or fruit can last with and without refrigeration (very important - and useful - for this daughter of yours here xD), you know when I'm feeling upset or sad even when I don't say it,....... basically, you know everything!

Thanks for being such a great role model to me. You have taught me so much, from the many things you've made the time to sit down and teach me, to the things you have taught me just by the way you live your life. I am who I am today because of you, and I can't tell you how much I admire and respect and look up to you. If I can ever be just a fraction of the woman you are, I know I'd be okay! "When I grow up I want to be just like my mummy" has always been true for me, it was true when I was just a little girl, and it's still true now!

One of my favourite things about you is that you make loving God, loving our family, and loving others seem so natural and so easy! If someone were to ask me who I think of the moment I hear the word "loving", I would say, you!

You are amazing, and so beautiful, mummy, in every single way, and I love you so much!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

P.S.: I initially typed this as "Happy Mothers' Day", with the apostrophe after the S, but then I realised I'm celebrating my own mother's day, so I changed the apostrophe to before S! :)

April Babies!

A photo with three of my favourite people in the world!

This is about a week late, but better late than never, no?

Somehow I forgot to take a nice photo of our family with Ah Chiah on the night we celebrated her 80th birthday (HAPPY 80TH AH CHIAHHHH!), but my brothers and I did remember to take a selfie with her! She isn't really showing off her usually dazzling smile in this picture, but I love this picture nonetheless!

We also got to celebrate my 2nd brother's birthday this year, all 5 of us together, in person, for the first time in many many years, so that was awesome! (HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIKOOOO!)

I just love it when the family is together! Those are the best times! :D

Happy Birthday, Mummy!

A very happy birthday to the kindest, most multi-talented, most encouraging, most loving and most awesome-in-every-single-way mother in the whole, wide world! I don't know who or where I'd be without you! I love you so much!

Throwback to a time when all three of us could still sit on mummy's lap, and a time when brothers number 1 and number 2 were still so cute XD Look! Even as a baby I couldn't keep my eyes off how radiantly beautiful mummy is inside and out! :DDD

A Dream Come True (and how a football match taught me the true Malaysian spirit!)

Last night was the JDT-Terengganu Malaysia Super League 2016 football match here in Terengganu, and I realised one of my dreams when I could go and watch it!

Although the whole night was just an amazing experience, a literal dream come true, my favourite moment of the night had to be when we had won, and all the Johor supporters were on their feet, and everyone just started singing the Johor State Anthem. There was no accompanying music, nobody telling us we had to sing the state song. We were just so proud of the win, so proud of our team, and so proud of our state, that we all just stood there, raising our voices, belting out the Johor State Anthem with pride. I stood there, among fellow Johorians, singing the state anthem as loudly as I could, projecting my pride into every word that came out of my mouth. As the voices singing the state anthem rose up from the fellow Johorians all around me, these individual voices came together perfectly, making beautiful music that seemed to fall perfectly like a warm embrace all around.

As I told a friend of mine, if I could have bottled up the atmosphere at that moment in time, I would've done it. That, to me, is what an ideal state should look like - its people proudly standing together, nobody looking at what colour your skin is, nobody caring what you're wearing or doing, what social status or social background you're from, but everybody just joined together as one, proudly standing up and daring to raise their voices for something they believe in, something they love and together want to improve to make it the best that it can be. This, to me, is the true spirit of Johor, the true Malaysian spirit. I am so proud to be a Johorean, and so grateful be able to call Johor my home. If only I could have bottled up that atmosphere, create more of it and carry them around, spreading that unity and love all over Malaysia!

Real Johoreans mixed with "honourary Johoreans", friends who supported JDT with us for the night!

Proud Johor girls!

The team, after the win, coming over to acknowledge the supporters (and to cover the coach with flour on his birthday) XD

Yes, I'm from Johor. Yes, I'm proud of it. Yes, I love my state. Yes, I keep up with what goes on with my state's football club. Yes, I can get really annoying sometimes because I tend to shove how awesome my state is in others' faces. Yes, I love my country. Yes, Malaysia will always be my favourite country in the world. Yes, I am one of those patriotic ones. A proud one.

Also, GOOOOOOO JDT! LUASKAN KUASAMUUUUU!